Back to reality

My husband left today for about a month and a half. I am very, very sad. I know 6weeks isn't long to some but he was just gone for 6 weeks. I've seen him less in our 6 months of marriage than in any of our time dating. I'm sure I will cheer up tomorrow. Today is sunday, my least favorite day of the week, and it has been dark and foggy all day. I'm certain tomorrow will b better.

Family, can't live with em, can't live without em

I would like to start by saying that there are members of my family that I truly love and respect. Here comes the dreaded however....However, none of these family members have ever been in the military. I have never been in the military or affiliated with the military before. Some of my family members are not just giving advice about things they really know nothing about but actually trying to make a day by day plan of how our next move will go, including hotel stays, move in dates, etc. Now, I am thankful that I have family members who care enough about me to take time out of their days to come up with charts (yes, an actual chart on a calendar) for me , but unfortunately I am discovering that the military doesn't work that way. I think it is very important to have a basic and general idea of your travels ahead, but I know that setting something in stone (airplane tickets, lease dates etc) isn't entirely possible especially a few months ahead.

My husband told me last night to tell our family HOLD EVERYTHING! His graduation date may be pushed back due to a few members of a particular flight team. This already completely changes the plan that my family has set up for me.

I am learning that sometime the military needs to have things done when they say it must be done...and then other times they are very vague. This can be frustrating on it's own but the frustration is nearly tripled when family members continue to tell me how I am not planning appropriately when they have never had a military move themselves.

I am thankful that they have been here to support me but I am happier knowing that his will be the last "major plan" put forth by all my family members. From here on out I will be living across the country from them and be deciding on my own what is best for my husband and I (of course he will have some say as well :) ). In some ways, it can be a little bit scary...but in other ways in seems incredibly liberating!

I will see my love again soon :)

I've changed my attitude...slightly...since my last post. My husband is coming home very soon for a christmas break. I'm getting pretty excited! I am hoping that we have the best time we can have...hopefully nothing negative. I am so looking forward to celebrating the holidays with him.

I've been trying to think less about being here, alone (not as alone as I would like..) in the 20-30 degree weather and more about warm Florida. Florida will be so sunny and bright..I won't need to be AS bundled up as I am right now. And hopefully the base can help me with finding a job...a real job :) man, I hope so!

I'll be back when I actually have something interesting to post.

When does the fun part start?

It has been a little over a month since my husband left for OTS. For the past fews years as I struggled attending college full time and working full time, my family would often remind me that it was going to get better. I have since graduated college and so far no luck. I am still stuck doing a minimum wage, degrading kind of a job and I starting was wonder why I spent all that money in the first place. Okay, so at the present moment I am in a transitional phase in my life. My husband and I are moving to Florida in February and I understand that 3 months is not enough time to start my career here in NH.

I wish I hadn't given up my apartment. My husband and I made a deal that if I moved in with his family I could leave my current job and / or work less because of the money we would be saving. I thought this would be the easiest 3 months of my life. I could lay low, not worry about finances, dream of the day that my husband comes home to me and we move to sunny Florida.

Instead, I am in living in a small house with his Aunt and Uncle. They are nice, but after living on your own for a few years it's hard to go back. Sometimes you just want to be completely and utterly alone and you can't be when you live with relatives. The finance thing isn't really working out in my favor either. Although we are making more money than we ever have (and by "we" I primarily mean my husband) my husband seems far more stressed than usual when I talk to him on the phone. I think maybe his focus is more on the large amount of students loans we have and less on what are getting our relatives for the holidays. I don't like feeling guilt when I purchase things which is why I desperately want my own career in my own field. I'm just not sure when that is going to happen.

It's all so new. The few times I am able to talk to Husband he always seems in a bad mood as though I am bothering him in some way. My bad day never compares to his bad day at OTS and I get that, but it shouldn't discount everything I may be going through. Sometimes I think what if he gave up his career to follow mine? What if he was living with my family while I was away? What if I was making the money and he had to feel uncomfortable knowing that he was barely contributing?

I would love to ask these questions but I know right now they wouldn't make a difference. I want to enjoy this new experience in our lives but so far nothing exceptionally good has happened. I thought this would make us stronger and long for each other's arms but instead we both just seem agitated. I truly hope that things change for the better.